Brett Favre remix

After a short hiatus The Greg One is back! Time for a CELEBRATION!! Less importantly Brett Favre is back. For those of you who didn't see this coming, I want you to wear aluminum foil so we know who you are. The handwriting has been on the wall since the beginning of the postseason. Favre asked the Jets for his release TWICE. The Jets asked him point blank was this so he could go sign with the Vikings and Favre said yes. That was all we needed to know right there. If you got sucked into the Favre drama not knowing the ending right away you probably still wonder why grass is green and water is wet. You'll want to keep reading because this is about to unfold as smoothly as a Where's Waldo book.
After getting his release Favre started his yearly retirement followed by his yearly change of heart. If you've been tuned in anytime within the last four years the procedure is this: Hint at retirement or retire outright, wait until the end of the summer, change your mind (after a good part of training camp is done) and suit up. Rinse. Repeat. This year was the same. The only new wrinkle was his announcing he was STILL retired four weeks ago. If you think back, what other momentus event occurred about four weeks ago? Another over-the-hill performer, Michael Jackson, died. Not wanting his spotlight to be diminished Favre announced he was still not coming back and waited until all the buzz had moonwalked away. Do you think this deal was done overnight? No freaking way. This was the worst kept secret in football. Four weeks ago there was no Brett Favre special on Sportscenter, no video packages on any sports network, no breaking news alert. Why? We've all heard it before and at this point we don't believe it and we don't care anymore.
All the noise about if the shoulder surgery works out was immaterial. Stevie Wonder could see Brett was coming back. Now that its finally official his every move will be covered ad nauseum and we'll hate him even more. At this point nothing short of a Joe Thiesman moment will keep Brett away.
Now Brett is back playing for the Vikings and as i've mentioned before this is the equivalent of Coach K leaving Duke to coach UNC. This is Michigan's coach taking over at Ohio State. This would be like Suns fans adopting the Spurs. Leaving Green Bay to go to Minnesota is the ultimate betrayal to all those in Wisconsin who gave him God-like status in spite of all the interceptions, the addiction to painkillers, the playoff choke jobs. Even more so than going to the Bears, leaving for Minnesota is nothing short of sacrilege in a Packer fans eyes.
Having lived in Wisconsin for a number of years there was one scenario that would have qualified Brett as Wisconsin's favorite son once and for all. The affair with the Jets was forgivable and unremarkable. Step 1: Brett goes through the retirement talk then put it out in the media he wanted to play with the Vikings. Step 2: Brett lets the shoulder surgery speculation run through the summer as usual and keeps everyone guessing if the return will happen. Step 3: Brett calls a press conference to announce his decision. Step 4: At the press conference Brett laughs diabolically and says 'Are you kidding? I'm Brett FAVRE! I'm a Packer for LIFE baby!! WHOOOOOOOOOO!!'
At that point Wisconsin would probably have declared themselves independent of the rest of the United States and named Brett their President. One last parting shot on the way out the door at the hated Vikings would have made everything right again. There would be no way to retaliate because Brett is retired and resumed his spot as golden boy of Wisconsin. Genius!
However, that's not the ending we get. We get selfish Brett reaching for the spotlight...again. Contrary to what has been written, I liked Brett as a football player when he was at the height of his powers. Even now he's better than the quarterbacks the Vikings have on their roster. If the Vikings can win ten games with Tavaris Jackson starting they should easily eclipse that with Brett at the helm. However, he's already upset the balance in that locker room and each time Favre shuffles off to another team that team takes two steps back. (see '08 Jets) Favre's body is breaking down, his teammates hate his diva attitude and he's turning into a laughing stock. Anything short of a NFC championship and the season is a total loss. Not only will the Vikings not get there, he will reinjure the arm, divide the locker room on a T.O. level and get run out of Minnesota.
The end result will be Favre retiring again at the end of the season and Roger Goodell calling an intervention to make sure he doesn't come back again. Three retirements and you're out. A man without a country, he'll be reviled by Packer fans, still hated by Viking fans and will be lucky to have as much as a water fountain named in his honor in Wisconsin. Way to burn all your bridges Brett, now go away.

Michael Vick Returns

The major buzz of the day is Michael Vick's return to the field in a live game with his new team, the Philadelphia Eagles. After two years behind bars and almost three season since he's been on the field Vick is trying to regain his former glory and show he's still got it. It's hard to get it back when you never had it in the first place. People blinded by Vick's ability to run wrongly voted him into three pro bowls. If he was a running back that would be a worthwhile achievement. The thing is, Vick's position was quarterback and he was not a good one at that. We've all heard the stories about how great his deep ball is but a deep ball is useless if its not on target. Vick could not throw with accuracy and that's why the Falcons spun their wheels each year aside from the one where he led the Falcons to a playoff win over the Packers.
Like Brett Favre, Vick is going to divide the locker room and regardless of what Donovan McNabb says, there is no way he is happy to have Vick in the fold after the Eagles gave him a pay raise instead of a contract extension. Next season both will be free agents and the Eagles will keep the one who will play for the least money, mark my words. Michael Vick should never have been allowed back into the NFL this season if at all. Not only did Vick bankroll a dogfighting operation he massacred dogs with his own two hands. This is the person you want impressionable first, second and third year players following? I wouldn't. After two years in jail that forty time has undoubtedly increased and I seriously doubt anyone was teaching him how to throw with touch and accuracy. The game is faster, the linemen and defensive ends are faster and once we reach the winter months Vick will truly be exposed as the manufactured champion of the game he once was.
In Atlanta, Vick played in a dome, out of the elements. In Philadelphia he will be playing outside and no matter what his forty time is now, its going to mean nothing when there is snow and ice on the field and he has to resort to being a *gasp* pocket passer!! Vick is back because he is broke and owes the Falcons a boatload of cash, not to mention legal fees. He will deserve everything he gets from the boos to the protesters at his games to his demotion to 'Wildcat' only plays. Better brush up on your Baha Men because every time Vick hits the field in an opponents stadium 'Who let the dogs out' will be blaring over the loudspeakers. As a dog lover, I and throngs of people nationwide will be waiting to see you getting your just desserts by fizzling out in you comeback bid. Since we can't lock you in a kennel and unleash ravenous dogs on your sorry hide we'll leave it to karma. Like a female dog, karma is a bitch. In two years Michael Vick will be gone and doing autograph signings for money in Las Vegas next to Pete Rose. Rust in peace Michael.