Super Bowl XL- Easiest to predict yet

Just what the world needs, another Super Bowl prognosticator. I couldn't help coming in and filling in the blanks weeks prior to the big game so you all know what jerseys to buy before the Motown Showdown. Mark the date. I'm also coining the term Motown Showdown right now. I better get royalties if anyone uses it.

First of all, lets eliminate all the pretenders to the crown. This post is after wild card weekend and before divisional playoff weekend. Doesn't matter. No team from wild card weekend is going to make it to the Motown Showdown. (I'm paying myself for that one). The NFC is a one horse race. Neither game in the divisional playoffs are worth the time it takes to make the chili, but we'll watch nonetheless. Why? Because of the off chance that something once-in-a-lifetime will happen, most will put some kind of bet on the game to give them some reason to watch and because ANY football is an excuse to party, except for the Canadian Football League. Quick, name three Canadian football players! FYI, Lawrence Phillips is gone, Warren Moon retired and Doug Flutie is in New England. Ok, three Canadian coaches...Um, three Canadian people? No cheating. I'm taking Michael J. Fox, Celine Dion and Shania Twain. Who you got? By the way, Terrence and Phillip don't count, they're fictional characters. Moving right along...

We have Carolina at Chicago. Chicago has an excellent defense but has only scored twenty points or more three times this season. Their last game was a 34-10 beatdown at the hands of Minnesota. Lovie Smith, for all his genius, can't figure out which quarterback to start. Its not his fault Orton and Grossman suck. He has the same problem we have when electing a President. He has to decide who will screw up the least. Carolina also has an excellent defense (most of the time) and they can score. Being from North Carolina, I will back the Panthers but I also know we Carolinians aren't used to the cold. Chicago in mid-January will freeze the sweat to your face. In the All-the-chili-in-the-world-won't-help-you now special, Bears squeeze out a 16-13 win.

Next we have Washington at Seattle. The 'Skins wouldn't even be here if Shepherd had held on to that touchdown. The game would have gone into overtime and he would have beaten Sean 'The Spit' Taylors' replacement three more times and would have caught the ball at least once for the win. Instead we have pitiful Washington, new record for lowest yardage output for a playoff winner in tow, coming to Seattle. Gimpy Mark Brunell could only muster 43 passing yards in the whole game. That's not 11 yards a quarter! Seattle moves in with the highest scoring offense in the league and one of the most underrated defenses. By the third quarter, Father Time will be wondering why he left NASCAR as the Seahawks tell the 'Skins "Go back to Washington and take this 20-point ass-whuppin with ya." Seahawks win, 30-10.

That leaves Chicago and Seattle in the NFC Championship in Seattle. You'll think you're watching Hostel all over again as Seattle dissects the Bears 42-9. In the much more entertaining AFC, New England goes to Denver. Denver has got the job done with smoke, mirrors, a running back carousel and a defense that has played way over their heads all season. Plummer has done well not to turn the ball over but he's also been very erratic all season. (I know, he was on my fantasy team). Denver won't have to worry about their yearly Indy playoff beat down because the Patriots will use up the last of their good karma to win on the road, 28-24.

In Indianapolis, the Steelers come to town after hitting up Cincinnati for 31 points. This week, its back to the same boring Steelers as the neo-steel curtain sees what Peyton, Marvin and Edge can do with three weeks rest. Colts stop the run cold, pick Big Ben twice and roll the Steelers 38-13.

Now, we come to the Super Bowl before the Super Bowl. New England goes to Indianapolis. No snow, no cold, on the fast track, no home field advantage, with the ultimate incentive on the line. The Pats will be game and will keep the score close (7-3) in the first quarter. Peyton adjusts and the floodgates will open as Indy wins going away. In a Chappelles Show special, Mr. Tennessee thumps his chest and tells Tom Brady "I'm Peyton Manning bitch!" Colts win 37-20.

Was there ever any doubt at who will make the Motown Showdown? Screw defense, its about time we had a good ol' fashioned shootout for the world championship. Two fast track teams running up and down the field with reckless abandon. Punters need not show up for this game. Two punts in this game, max. Forty points will be scored by halftime on the way to the highest scoring Super Bowl in history. Of course, now that i've said that it will be a defensive struggle and the final will be 17-14 but i'm sticking to my guns. How can you NOT go with the Colts this season? Final score Colts 41, Seahawks 37. Make your plans accordingly, I will be back for my 'I told you so' monologue in three weeks.