My resloution for the world

As most people do, I take part in the usually fruitless tradition of making New Year's Resolutions. Personally, I don't consider my New Year to begin until my birthday, March 2. Nevertheless, I still make a list in January which will be nowhere to be found in December. By actually posting this on my blog, there's no way to lose this unless Blogger itself dies. The jinx is on...
I've made the standard resolutons-Hit the gym, lose weight (even though my doctor says i'm the perfect weight for my build and height, I still want to fly across the basketball court and i'm not feeling it at 210...i'm thinking 187), practice random acts of kindness, get to that Charger home game this year, write more, find a woman to make my queen, learn a new language (or two) and play better poker. I'm winning a lot online but I think the true test is in live action. New year, same stuff everyone else strives for...but that's not where it ends.
The major resolution i've made is to follow the feeling i've had, ironically, since the beginning of the year. In my head and my heart I feel the stars and planets are finally aligned. That larger than life personality that dwells inside has finally reached maturity and its now time to let it fly. I've been a performer in some aspect all of my life. I have travelled all over the US jumping on stage wherever there is an opening. I've done stand-up in front hundreds of thousands of people, done tv, movies, radio, theatre and sang in bands. That need to be on stage doing what comes naturally has always been there and whenever I take the stage I go on thinking I am going to blow the doors off the building even if it doesn't happen. Two decades down, many more to go. All that time i've bided my time, feeling I will know when I am truly ready. You have to crawl before you walk. I've been walking for a while, but the path has been filled with those in line before me.
Not anymore...
The feeling is like a tingling in every fibre of my being. The god-like voice in my head has gone off like a buzzer and the message is crystal clear. Its time to put the rage on the stage. It's time to put all that time spent perfecting the craft into motion. It is time to show the world your greatness. Get an agent, record your shows, perform anywhere and everywhere and the world will notice. All that is left is to go out there and accept it. I wouldn't have this gift if I wasn't meant to present it to the masses and by the end of this year, the masses will know my name.
My resolution for the world is to fulfill my destiny. I will use my gift to make this life more enjoyable. The stage is where I feel most at home but with no one to watch its only a shell of what it should be. I will take you away from your problems if only for a little while, give you a new focus to laugh with (or at), a new channel to live through vicariously, to be worthy of the price of admission and be a paragon of virtue for all willing to follow my flag. This is MY time and I am going to use it wisely. On this day, January 31st, I acknowledge the path, the light that shines through me guiding the way and promise to release it on the rest of the world. I'm coming for you all...

Super Bowl XL- Easiest to predict yet

Just what the world needs, another Super Bowl prognosticator. I couldn't help coming in and filling in the blanks weeks prior to the big game so you all know what jerseys to buy before the Motown Showdown. Mark the date. I'm also coining the term Motown Showdown right now. I better get royalties if anyone uses it.

First of all, lets eliminate all the pretenders to the crown. This post is after wild card weekend and before divisional playoff weekend. Doesn't matter. No team from wild card weekend is going to make it to the Motown Showdown. (I'm paying myself for that one). The NFC is a one horse race. Neither game in the divisional playoffs are worth the time it takes to make the chili, but we'll watch nonetheless. Why? Because of the off chance that something once-in-a-lifetime will happen, most will put some kind of bet on the game to give them some reason to watch and because ANY football is an excuse to party, except for the Canadian Football League. Quick, name three Canadian football players! FYI, Lawrence Phillips is gone, Warren Moon retired and Doug Flutie is in New England. Ok, three Canadian coaches...Um, three Canadian people? No cheating. I'm taking Michael J. Fox, Celine Dion and Shania Twain. Who you got? By the way, Terrence and Phillip don't count, they're fictional characters. Moving right along...

We have Carolina at Chicago. Chicago has an excellent defense but has only scored twenty points or more three times this season. Their last game was a 34-10 beatdown at the hands of Minnesota. Lovie Smith, for all his genius, can't figure out which quarterback to start. Its not his fault Orton and Grossman suck. He has the same problem we have when electing a President. He has to decide who will screw up the least. Carolina also has an excellent defense (most of the time) and they can score. Being from North Carolina, I will back the Panthers but I also know we Carolinians aren't used to the cold. Chicago in mid-January will freeze the sweat to your face. In the All-the-chili-in-the-world-won't-help-you now special, Bears squeeze out a 16-13 win.

Next we have Washington at Seattle. The 'Skins wouldn't even be here if Shepherd had held on to that touchdown. The game would have gone into overtime and he would have beaten Sean 'The Spit' Taylors' replacement three more times and would have caught the ball at least once for the win. Instead we have pitiful Washington, new record for lowest yardage output for a playoff winner in tow, coming to Seattle. Gimpy Mark Brunell could only muster 43 passing yards in the whole game. That's not 11 yards a quarter! Seattle moves in with the highest scoring offense in the league and one of the most underrated defenses. By the third quarter, Father Time will be wondering why he left NASCAR as the Seahawks tell the 'Skins "Go back to Washington and take this 20-point ass-whuppin with ya." Seahawks win, 30-10.

That leaves Chicago and Seattle in the NFC Championship in Seattle. You'll think you're watching Hostel all over again as Seattle dissects the Bears 42-9. In the much more entertaining AFC, New England goes to Denver. Denver has got the job done with smoke, mirrors, a running back carousel and a defense that has played way over their heads all season. Plummer has done well not to turn the ball over but he's also been very erratic all season. (I know, he was on my fantasy team). Denver won't have to worry about their yearly Indy playoff beat down because the Patriots will use up the last of their good karma to win on the road, 28-24.

In Indianapolis, the Steelers come to town after hitting up Cincinnati for 31 points. This week, its back to the same boring Steelers as the neo-steel curtain sees what Peyton, Marvin and Edge can do with three weeks rest. Colts stop the run cold, pick Big Ben twice and roll the Steelers 38-13.

Now, we come to the Super Bowl before the Super Bowl. New England goes to Indianapolis. No snow, no cold, on the fast track, no home field advantage, with the ultimate incentive on the line. The Pats will be game and will keep the score close (7-3) in the first quarter. Peyton adjusts and the floodgates will open as Indy wins going away. In a Chappelles Show special, Mr. Tennessee thumps his chest and tells Tom Brady "I'm Peyton Manning bitch!" Colts win 37-20.

Was there ever any doubt at who will make the Motown Showdown? Screw defense, its about time we had a good ol' fashioned shootout for the world championship. Two fast track teams running up and down the field with reckless abandon. Punters need not show up for this game. Two punts in this game, max. Forty points will be scored by halftime on the way to the highest scoring Super Bowl in history. Of course, now that i've said that it will be a defensive struggle and the final will be 17-14 but i'm sticking to my guns. How can you NOT go with the Colts this season? Final score Colts 41, Seahawks 37. Make your plans accordingly, I will be back for my 'I told you so' monologue in three weeks.

Happy New Year Bloggers!

I hope we are all enjoying ourselves as the calendar unveils another year. I am looking forward to reading multitudes of great posts and hopefully being able to contribute a few of my own. If the pen is mightier than the sword, what does that say for a keyboard?
My wish for all of you is health, wealth and the love of a good woman (or man, or both. If its lesbian action, call me). Let us all stand screen to screen and show the world the meaning of perspective and objectivity. There are too many left and right wing know-it-alls oblivious to the stink of their own rhetoric. There are not enough true intellectuals looking on from the middle or outside the box to point out the folly of both sides. That's us my friends, and that was my big political commentary of the year. I need a nap.
So, a toast. To hot bodies in bikinis, (and whatever the equivalent would be for the ladies), to the unceremonial death of the mullet, reality tv, hockey, talk shows, celebrity poker, sequels, remakes, rap music and bubble gum pop. To the rise of the Screen Actors Guild, free thinkers, great writers, packed houses, fun you haven't experienced since childhood, protected casual sex, soulmates, heavy metal, Howard Stern, great minds in positions of power and everlasting love for all those daring enough to leave yourselves vulnerable to it. All feel free to add to the toast if you like.
Happy 2006 to all!

Tori Amos and nine great moments of 2005

With the onset of a new year I go through my normal ritual (however cheesy) of making resolutions. Among those were resuming my place on this site since my initial five post blitz in July. Part of it was my home pc still residing in another state, not being able to figure out more technical aspects (how to separate title from story among other things)of this site. The other part being I was really freakin busy! I wasn't going to write a bunch of stuff and predate it though, that would just be wrong. Anyway, this will be as good a place as any to summarize the year that was and run down my top ten moments of 2005.

The Bad
I arrived at Lake Powell in Arizona at the end of June to work at a summer resort. I had worked here five years ago and had a ball. Its a nice place to kick back with fantastic scenery. After two years dealing blackjack and poker in casinos I needed a respite. This is a nice place to earn a little cash and get a little peace and quiet. Lots of international hotness working here in the summer doesn't hurt either. It took only a couple weeks to realize I didn't need this much peace and quiet! Sure it was busy at the resort and the foreigners were interesting to talk to (for a while before you wanted to kill them). My first time around there were always raging parties, all manner of debauchery, good perks for employees and much to do. This time, everything had changed. Perks replaced by really lame 'incentives', no parties, park service arresting seemingly anyone holding a beer can (glad I don't drink), and an overwhelming dullness because of it. The town linked to this place, a 7000 person metropolis called Page had not evolved at all and there's nothing to do. There are four bars and trinket shops. The biggest attraction in town is Wal-Mart. (Always a bad sign). Until I got my car last month even access to town was limited, now I leave town every weekend. With as many huge canyons as there are here i'm surprised Page didn't fall in long ago. I had a brief fling with a woman who used the 'I'm pregnant' card to try to keep me around after I decided to stop dating her. Second time in my life that has happened, the first being ten years ago. Ladies, for the record, it doesn't work with any guy with a modicum of intelligence. She fessed up a few weeks later but you can't really undo something like that. I know the only safe sex is abstinence and condoms do break or leak (fellas)but I wrapped my sausage every time so I knew something was up. It is better to forgive however. Life is too short and I believe in not burning your bridges. We're still friends.
Da man is still trying to keep me down. Parking tickets for when I had my car towed to a junkyard magically reappeared on my record, just in time for christmas. I was charged every other day for two weeks. Only one speeding ticket, breaking my two year ticketless streak. (Thanks jerks).
An ex-girlfriend SUED me for back rent after begging me to move in with her four years ago.I just lost my job and was going to go back home when she volunteered her place. I took one job, paid what I could and when that job ended, I left. The long distance deal didn't work (does it ever?) and after seeing things for the lost cause it was, she sued me when I returned to Wisconsin and won. She's really testing the forgive quality of my personality. I know somewhere there's a society of psycho women with my picture on a poster somewhere with the word 'Target' underneath...
My beloved San Diego Chargers cost themselves a playoff spot as early as week one. Nevermind the loss at Miami in December (although that didn't help things) but giving a stand-up guy like Antonio Gates an ultimatum to sign or miss games was ludicrous. First game, at Dallas without Gates, the Chargers had 4th and goal inside the 10 with time running out in the fourth quarter and lost the game. If gates plays, the Chargers win. Gates either snags it in the end zone or the extra man that has to go with him leaves one less guy for Tomlinson to run through. Instead, the 'Boys stack the line against LT and jam all the receivers. Game over. Bad decision.

The Good
Fortunately for me there were a lot more positives than negatives. I think you don't really appreciate the light until you've waded through the dark. Without pain we wouldn't recognize pleasure. So, here are my ten best moments of 2005...
10. Still tap dancing through the years. Figuratively speaking that is, i'm not that coordinated. I think its too easy to just assume you'll be here tomorrow. Every day, there's the possibility that some crazy will run you over crossing the street. Just yesterday some blind liver-spoted grandpa bumped my car at the gas station. His excuse, 'You were parked too far ahead.' Last I checked, you needed the tank to be somewhat near the pump to get the whole process to work! I took four plane trips last year. None crashed. Drove from Wisconsin to Arizona through snowstorm and every other inclement weather condition. No accidents. Every day is a gift, that's why its called the present. I think its taken for granted.
9. The release of the Return of the King extended edition. I was finally able to complete my collection of the greatest set of movies of all time. I am a total fanatic and was all to thrilled to be able to fill out the set. It was definitely worth the wait.
8. Escaping Wisconsin. My best friends in the world live there, save for a couple back home. Nevertheless, it was so nice to get out of that frozen wasteland. I have never seen an entire state with so little to do. The cold and I don't get along anyway so even if the cruise ship job didn't pan out, it gave me a reason to leave.
7. Chappelle's Show season three. After hearing all the rumors of Dave going crazy and committing himself (which I knew was false, crazy people don't know they're carzy) I was thrilled to see there WILL be a season three. He's a great comic with the best sketch comedy show ever filmed. Viva la Dave!!
6. Of Mice and Men. While in Wisconsin I performed as Crooks in the play Of Mice and Men in Spring Green. It was a fantastic show with an incredible cast and we had a very successful run. I was cast with only two weeks before the opening show but I thank and credit the directors David and Susan with taking the chance on me and with the show. They didn't know anything about me or how fast or slow a learner I was, aside from what I told them. Therein lies the message: If we believe in each other, there's no limit to what we can do.
5. Nine Inch Nails. If you ever get to see this band live as I did in September, RUN don't walk to get your tickets. I saw them five years ago and was blown away. This time was even better. For a band as intense and dark as they are, they surpass that tenfold with their live show. Trent Reznor is a genius.
4. My smart car. I traded in the Ford Explorer I was driving for a silver Dodge Intrepid. Power everything, cruise (no more speeding tickets) and in great condition, my friend Mike totally hooked it up for me. I got it for thousands less than it would have cost through the larger dealerships. Call Mike at M&S Auto in Baraboo, WI. He'll do the same for you.
3. Laura. The greatest love of my life emailed me after five years. I got to spend time with her when I went back to Wisconsin to get my car. It was magical being able to look into those eyes, hold her close and share our lives with one another. I only hope to be able to find that type of love again. I'm a pisces. I'm required to think its possible.
2. Teaching. The most improbable thing to happen this year was being hired to as a high school drama teacher. While having lunch with a cutie from boat rentals who would be teaching this year I found out about the drama teacher position. Curiosity led me to check it out. I have never taught or ever had any inclination to teach anything except drama. Performing is who I am and what I do but what were the odds that particular job would avail itself in the four months I was planning on spending here before I left for greener pastures? Apparently very good. I went on the interview and spoke of my passion for performing, my qualifications as an actor and the myriad of ideas I would have with my own drama program. They bought in and I was chosen. My students have been amazing. They are a bunch of self-starting, musically, intellectually and artistically gifted people. My job is to make them into great actors and its been something I look forward to doing every day. I don't get paid intil the end of the school year but this doesn't even seem like work because it is what I love. Sharing what I know with the next generation has been reinvigorating and has rekindled my need to get back on stage. My first production, Arsenic and Old Lace is in the books and it went very well. I look forward to raising this program to heights its never seen before.
1. Tori Amos. Another typical Pisces trait is that sometimes we enjoy fantasy more than reality and sometimes the line gets blurred. Luckily for me, a fantasy did become reality last year. I have been a devout worshiper of Tori since I first saw her in 1999 on a co-headlining tour with my then-goddess Alanis Morissette in Milwaukee. Since that night Alanis took the back seat (and eventually let out of the car after marrying Ryan Reynolds) while Tori became my goddess. I have seen her perform live six times in five states. In 2005 alone I saw her at the Auditorium theatre in Chicago, and in Phoenix three days before the Nine Inch Nails show. The real icing on the cake was meeting her in person when she went on tour to promote her book Piece By Piece. I made the three hour trek to Chicago and stood in line with 200 other Toriphiles. She stood the entire time, greeted everyone with a smile on her face and a gleam in her eye. I was lucky. When I was next in line she took a moment to speak to one of her aides and collect herself. Then she turned and looked up at me with those emerald green eyes. She smiled and took my hand as I introduced myself, thankful I hadn't forgotten my own name. We stood and spoke for a good two to three minutes. She signed my cd and my book. Then she thanked me for coming and gave me a hug. I wanted to hold her forever. She reminded me of a porcelain doll. She's a tiny woman (even in high heels)who is exquisitely beautiful. Everything she does is graceful and it will be a moment in time I will never forget. I feel fortunate. Few people ever get to meet their celebrity heroes. She'll always be an artistic and musical inspiration as well as my favorite singer. Thank you Tori.